Reporting experience as it is – 6/21/2019

A computer screen in front of me. A computer screen. Letters/words on a computer screen. Two hands typing. One mind thinking what is being experienced. Mind thinking how to not have so much space on hitting enter and moving to next line. Not getting a quick answer, mind decides to continue without hitting the enter button i.e. not going to a new line after each sentence, and hand continues to type. Three men moving/walking past. One man reporting three men walking past. Jim walking in and sitting right in front of my desk… in front of the same man who is reporting the experience… I am claiming this man is me…. I heard Jen saying something…. The man who I feel is me heard Jen saying something. I scratched my chin…the man who I feel is me scratched his chin. There is this thought of ‘I’ as ‘this man’. This man is thinking. Now, I am thinking. This man is me. I am thinking this man is me. I am experiencing this thought of ‘I am experiencing this man typing and thinking, and this man is me’. At times as this man is thinking hard, this thought of this man as me is not there. Only the experience of this man thinking hard is there. At times even the experience of this man thinking hard is not there; only the experience of thinking hard is there; only the experience of thinking; at times only the experience of typing; at times only the experience of seeing the letters typed on the screen…. and then the experience of a set of eyes seeing the letters typed by a man who is thinking hard about his current experience and now this experience of this man is me again. Man moved a little behind, brought his hands closer, criss-crossed fingers, cracked the knuckles producing a sound. I became aware of this experience and start typing back again about this experience… this man starts typing again… this man is me… this is just a thought… it’s a thought that it’s a thought… it’s a thought that it’s a thought that it’s a thought……… sigh! The man sighs.. the man breathes heavily… the man feels tired of thinking about thinking… I am feeling tired… the man is me… I am experiencing this man as me.

This man occupies some space. This man has a past. This man has a future. I am in this space, time, cause-effect framework. There is this experience of I being this man in this space-time and there are others – things, people, all of who have a past and a future. The rest is not me… I have this experience of the rest is not me; this man is me… as I type in, sometimes there is just typing, no man, no I, no me, no things, no people, no other people… then pops back again this man, things around him, people around him in this space doing things that will produce results in time…. I am typing while everyone is around me, things and stuffs, and this typing that I am doing will result in a post, other people will read, a few will like and I will feel happy about it… this man’s mind will feel happy about it… there will be this experience of a thought produced by this man that he is happy… there will be this experience of happiness… there is this experience of a thought that there will be an experience of happiness by this man who is me… sigh!!!! there is this experience of tiredness as this thought about thoughts about thoughts about thoughts pop up.. Need a break.