It’s a desire for most that they should be accepted as they are. By who? By the world.
The moment you accept the world as it is, the world will accept you as you are. Not until then. Examine this statement a little deeper – the moment you accept the world as it is, you will no longer have the need for the world to accept you as you are. That need will dissolve and that’s the only solution.
As long as you are judging the world, the world is going to judge you. As long as you are judging the world, you will perceive the world to be judgmental. It’s the same brain with the same mental model; it’s the same framework – the framework of judging based on a specific value system. As long as you have the same mental model, it will produce the same output. Let’s take an example.
Every other person I come across, I have this habit of forming an opinion about whether their dressing sense is cool or not. I at times say it aloud and at times don’t. It’s so ingrained in me that I am not even aware that I do so. One fine day, I hear someone say that I am not well dressed even though I feel I look cool. I try to tell my friends that the other person doesn’t know anything, and I don’t care about what he or the world thinks about how I dress. Matters become worse when I find another person commenting on my dressing sense. Now, I, not only tell others but also myself the lie that I don’t care about what the world thinks of my dressing sense. In fact, it’s not true. It just can’t be. In my mind, a model has been created that puts in a lot of value to how & what people wear. The same mind with the same mental model is obviously going to produce the same output when the input is about dressing sense and about me.
It’s really a sad state of affairs. Remember, it just can’t happen that you judge others and don’t judge yourself – however hard you might try to convince yourself that it’s not the case. Every superiority complex is accompanied by an inferiority complex because you will need a certain value system (reasons) to feel superior. The same set of values (like looking good, dressing well, more educated, more polished, sophisticated, nice, ethically good, morally good, etc.) will work against you too when you meet someone better than you are. Better how? Better when measured against the subtle calibrated scale of the mental model. It’s complex and cannot be broken down in real world with the language we communicate in. Yet, it can be said that the mental model ascribes weightage to various attributes that constitute a mental model for a given context.
Unless you are clinically depressed or clinically ill, stop it. If you are then go see a doctor or a specialist. Stop wanting the world to accept you as you are. Work on what you feel is in your control – work on accepting the world as it is. When and if you do so, you will accept yourself as you are. And the problem of the world accepting you as you are will dissolve.
You are perfect as you are. Everybody else is perfect as they are. Everything is perfect as it is.